For memory sake, I wanted to write down all the details about how we found out about our little baby. It might be LONG, but i'm covering almost 5 years and I want to remember everything :). Being able to sit here and write this story out was not always something I thought I would get to do, so, being able to do that has me feeling so very thankful. I know this isn't something that everyone gets to experience and I don't want to take that for granted.
April 2010- I was having some issues with my birth control which sent me to the doctor. Long story short (and probably TMI..), my BC was making me bleed very irregularly and for loooooong periods of time. I'm talking months of non-stop bleeding. It was terrible. It was at that appointment that my doctor told me I wasn't ovulating and when it came time that I wanted to have a baby, I would probably have to go on Clomid to make me ovulate. Not a terrible diagnosis, but also not one that a 19 year old wants to hear. I had just gotten engaged a few months prior and was excited about the possibility of having a baby one day, but also wasn't really concerned about it at the time.
October 2011- Cliff and I got married and were in no rush to have babies. We were enjoying our time together, we were both still in school and not to mention POOR. Its funny and sweet to me to look back on those times. What's the fun in it if you're not struggling for a while?!
About a year and a half after we got married, I was just feeling
off one day. I couldn't really put my finger on it, so I decided to take a pregnancy test. I was nervous, but kind of hopeful at the same time. It was negative and that was the first time I remember having a gut instinct that I couldn't get pregnant. I'm not sure if it was what my previous doctor said in the back of my mind or what, but I just remember being sad. Looking back on it I'm glad it was negative. We really had no business having a baby at the time and the timing now is much better and sweeter and I feel like we can enjoy it more.
June 2014- I was sitting at work one day, about an hour before my shift was to end, and I got the most horrible period cramps I've ever had in my life. I'm talking about doubled over in pain, couldn't breathe, couldn't sit, couldn't stand- type of horrible. This was followed by horrible bleeding and clotting. I remember the clock moving so slow and by the time I got off work, I could hardly make it home. Traffic was awful and I wasn't sure why I was hurting so bad. I finally made it home and after a while longer of cramping very badly, I was able to kind of relax and put the heating pad on and lay down. I remember having to sleep with a heating pad for about 3 days, which was so out of the ordinary for me. I thought I was just having an extremely bad period. Looking back now, I'm wondering if it was a miscarriage. If it was, I'm thankful it was early enough that I didn't know I was pregnant.
For the next year, I would say Cliff and I were not trying/ not preventing. We also weren't trying to "just see what happens". I think we were both just okay with it happening IF it happened, but we weren't ready to start trying just yet. It didn't happen. I got really scared and really nervous and again, just had a gut instinct it was never going to happen for us. I've come to the realization that I'm a worrier. I worry about problems that aren't even there yet. I think I was just trying to mentally prepare myself so that it wasn't such a blow when someone told us we wouldn't be able to have a baby.
May 2015- I big, fat, ugly, drunk cried on my sister's shoulder at a Braves game tailgate about my fears and it was the first time I had really told anyone about
anything that had been going on. It's funny to me, now because we WEREN'T EVEN TRYING! I think I was expecting it to happen "accidentally" and it wasn't. She was so sweet and reassured me that everything would be okay and that having a baby is not all I was put on this Earth for. She was right and that really put me at ease. My situation was not bad and I needed to see that.
June 2015- Cliff and I took a much needed beach trip. It was the first time we had been to the beach, just the two of us since we had been married and it was wonderful! We had time to recharge as a couple and really relax. Before we left for the beach we decided that we would maybe start trying for a baby around November of this year. I ordered a giant pack of ovulation test strips from amazon just to see if they could give me an idea of when, if at all, I ovulated. Funny how life works out because I didn't even get to use one of those strips :)
Fast forward to the end of June... I bought 2 dressers to refinish for our bedroom and my sister and I were trying to strip the stain and paint off them and sand them down. Long story short, they weren't doing what I wanted them to do and I had a major, over dramatic freak out. I'm talking about threw everything down and went home and was so upset I had to take a nap. I thought I had to be majorly PMSing...because it was BAD. I can't remember a time where I've felt that out of control and upset over really nothing. It was a weird day.
July 1st, 2015- I had the morning off and was running some errands. I stopped and got an iced caramel machiatto from Starbucks and went on with my day. The coffee tasted horrible to me. It was making me jittery and just wasn't sitting right and I was convinced they put 90 shot of espresso in my drink. By this day, my period was about 4 days late. I didn't think much of it because I've always had irregular periods.
That whole week leading up to July 1st, my usually distant cat, Kirby was acting so strange around me. She wouldn't eat, she wouldn't leave me alone and she would rush ahead of me into whatever room I was walking in to. She would lay on me and knead on my stomach and I just thought she was acting so strange. I made her a vet appointment and continued on with my day. It's so crazy to me how instinctual animals can be. She knew something was up before I even did.
Around 12, I remember that 10 pregnancy tests came with my ovulation pack. I decided to take one, just in case, since my period was late but I wasn't expecting anything at all. I was completely expecting it to come back negative and I was okay with that since I hadn't used any of the ovulation strips yet.
I took the test and before I could even lay it on the counter, it came back with a big, dark POSITIVE.
I looked at the test, back at the directions and back at the test. There was no way I was reading it correctly. So, I took another one. Same result. I took ONE more....just for good measure and sure enough....positive.
WHAT?! I'm pretty sure I said "oh shit" a few times and kind of paced around my bedroom. It's a weird feeling finding out you're pregnant for the first time, especially so unexpectedly. But, I was so happy and just couldn't believe it. I had to work until 10 that evening and had the next day off, so I decided to hold off on telling Cliff until I could get to the doctor and get it confirmed.
The next day I went to Walmart and got two digital tests. Just to be extra EXTRA sure ;)... they both came up with positives extremely quickly so I made a same day appt with the doctor. I took a test there and the nurse said it was an instant positive!
I headed home and started to set up how I was going to tell Cliff. I'll do another posts once I get all the videos together. It was such a sweet day and we are both so grateful to God for giving us a chance to experience this time in our lives. It's something I've always hoped and prayed for, but not something I've always expected. We cannot wait to meet our new little baby in February.
